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Sweet!

Thanks to the awesome church of which I am a Reverend, you can have your sins absolved online:

http://www.ulc.org/index.php?destination=absolutionOfSins

Beat that, Catholics!

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
vespaden
Dec. 7th, 2005 08:27 pm (UTC)
Please click "ABSOLUTION" only once
vespa59
Dec. 7th, 2005 08:34 pm (UTC)
So as to not confuse the deity of your choice.
vespaden
Dec. 7th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
But I'm thinking, if I click a few times, do I get bonus absolution? That is, let's say, just for argument's sake, I coveted my neighbor's wife. I put it in there, and clicked absolution three times, but I only actually coveted once. Does that mean that I get two free covets in the future? I'm only asking you, because being an ordained minister, as you are, you should be uniquely qualified to answer this spiritual conundrum.
vespa59
Dec. 7th, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC)
Clicking the absolution button more than once is, in itself, a sin. A big one at that, as I believe it constitutes absolution "greed", which therefore classifies it as "deadly". So, click the button more than once, and while you will be absolved of previous sins, you will have acquired more serious ones, and you will die.

Now, if you happen to click the button more than once, and you've committed some sins in between clicks - like if you're masturbating to animal porn with the other, non-clicking hand - then I suppose in that case it's warranted and probably even necessary to click multiple times.
vespaden
Dec. 7th, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm glad we cleared that up! I almost died right there... I guess I'll just have to jerk off faster...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )