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Dude, Where's My Beard?

So... I shaved my goatee off. I've had it since 1996. I have to say, I look fucking retarded. Some people really should have a goatee and those people are me. I'm not posting any pictures. Look away. I'm hideous.

What the hell is up with this crazy outta control double chin growing back there? How did I not notice? It was all totally hidden behind the goatee. The sweet, wonderful goatee. How I long for it to return. I just went to take a sip from my water bottle and my lip got suctioned to it. What the fuck??

Next time I decide to shave my goatee, remind me how idiotic I look without it.

Jeez.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
vespa59
Sep. 9th, 2002 11:09 pm (UTC)
Ralome says:
why in gods name did you shave it off
Smartest Man Alive says:
i dunno... i like to mix it up a bit.
Ralome says:
not like that, though
Ralome says:
that goatee defined you
Smartest Man Alive says:
christ
Ralome says:
youre doomed
Ralome says:
gonna hafta wear your helmet until it grows back
Smartest Man Alive says:
i know.
Smartest Man Alive says:
crud.
Ralome says:
it cant be all bad. take a webcam shot
Smartest Man Alive says:
i gave my webcam again.
Smartest Man Alive says:
er, away
Ralome says:
you did WHAT?
Ralome says:
that webcam defined you!
Smartest Man Alive says:
god damn you
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2002 12:06 am (UTC)
vegan pirates need beards. nice knowing you.
epc
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2002 12:23 am (UTC)
*thanks for taking care of crazy e*
that was sweet.
epc
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2002 04:54 am (UTC)
..ah...demon boredom came and got ya...yeesh...your double chin unfortunately is paternal genes...that's why you need the goatee...nice thing about hair is that it grows back...natty dread...
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2002 08:30 am (UTC)
Give it a day or two
Maybe it's like the first time I dyed my hair Andy Warhol white. I thought I looked like a horrendous freak for about 2 days. Then I realized that even though I did look freaky, I looked freaky in a very hot way. I kept it like that for over a year, then I got bored again. Try not to worry about it -- it's just facial hair. Plus getting oral sex from a guy w/ a goatee, in my opinion, is gross. Maybe b/c my dad has a beard and the thought of him ever getting any makes me want to vomit. Maybe you'll get laid more w/o the beard. Give it a chance!
-The Guess Who
vespa59
Sep. 10th, 2002 09:37 am (UTC)
Re: Give it a day or two
Well... I can't really argue with that.

Ladies, if you're going to have sex, have sex with Steve. Now with 100% less facial hair!
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2002 11:51 am (UTC)
I was ok with the visuals till the oral sex thing...sorry bout your dad, GuessWho, butt

lest you tried it, Guess Who...

1971gto
Sep. 13th, 2002 11:06 pm (UTC)
1. You really don't look that bad dude. I'm getting used to you without it. Sorry about the whole Ladka thing..

2. I've been told recently that this thing crouching on *MY* chin looks like pubic hair... pubic hair!?!? Ow! Jeez. Here I was thinking I look so cool only to be called furpie-face. Smack! There's a really confidence killer for you.. but in spite of that (and of them), I'm not shaving it off.. cuz I know the TRIPLE ENDLESS REVERSE STAIRCASE OF CHINS STEPPING DOWN TO MY ADAM'S APPLE is under there and it ain't seeing the light of day so long as I'm still breathing and primarily responsible for the weilding of the old razor.

:)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )