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Longest February ever...

So... I'm doing this experiment in February. I'm not eating meat for the whole month, with two exceptions:

1. When I'm in Vegas, rules do not apply to me. Therefore, if the mood strikes, I might find myself eating meat. However, for every day during the Vegas trip that I eat any meat, I will tack on TWO days at the beginning of March to the experiment. Kind of like back in school, when you'd have snow days, and have to make them up at the end of the year.

2. I'm gonna keep eating fish. In my defense, fish is pretty much my least favorite meat.

So... why am I doing this? Well... It's like this. My health is for shit. My dad's health is for shit and his dad's health was for shit. Genetics are working against me in a big way, as is the fact that I have a diet similar to that of Elvis Presley. It is my belief that at some point in the future, a doctor may say to me, "Steve... you gotta cut way back on the meat." So, here I am. There are a couple of reasons why I'm doing the experiment the way I am. For one, I actually do have an interest in altering the state of my health. Granted, it's not terrible, like I expect to die tomorrow or something.... but it's not all that good either.

So you're probably saying, "but Steve, taking a month off from meat isn't going to really have a significant impact on your health". I know this, jackass. That's not the point. The experiment is meant to change behaviors and the method was proven in the great soda experiment of '99: One day in 1999, I realized that I was drinking about 8 Mountain Dews a day at work and was feeling sick at the end of the day. I was also drinking tons of iced tea, coke, and everything else that's loaded with caffeine. So, I stopped completely. I started drinking nothing but water and lemonade. I did this for about 9 or 10 months. After that, I decided it was ok to drink a soda every once in a while. Nowadays, I drink maybe one or two a week, which is way better than I was. So, I haven't cut the wonderfully enjoyable buzz of caffeine out of my life (in fact, the buzz is WAY better now that I don't have such a tolerance for it), and I've also replaced the ridiculously frightening 10 or so caffeine beverages a day with the doctor recommended 8 glasses or so of water. Aren't I pretty?

So... that's the expected result of the meat experiment. After February, I will be eating meat again, but hopefully not tearing through the thirty or forty barnyard animals per week I am now. Everything in moderation.**

The other main reason for the meat experiment is obvious. As I mentioned, I will probably be told by a doctor that I need to either drastically cut back on meat and meat related items, or cut them out all together. I need to know if at that point I need to blow my head off, or if I can expect to survive.

Finally, people who know me know that I like to find weird ways to challenge myself. Why? We may never know. I guess I like to just learn what I'm capable of and I like to reassure myself that I'm not one of those people who absolutely CAN'T live without something. SCREW YOU, HUMAN NATURE!! Hmph.

So, there ya go. I will, of course, be providing my journal reading public (which I'm pretty sure consists mostly of my family) with regular updates on my progress. I feel confident that the experiment will be a success. With all the advances in vegetarian science over the last couple of years (there are vegetarian corn dogs, you know), I think I will be ok. Plus, I've got lots of vegetarian friends like Liz and Simon to help me figure out ways to survive. I just hope poor Otis at the OK Corral barbecue joint in Greenlake doesn't get too worried about me. Maybe I'll stop in and get some of his catfish, with some rice and beans.


**except booze