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Meetings... killing.... Steve.........

Holy bloody fuck today's meetings suck ass. I feel like I've been in meetings for four days and they're boring as all hell.

"When the user does blah blah blah should we spawn a new thread for blah blah or block the current one until blah blah blah fucking blah?"

I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T CARE! I'M GONNA STAB A DRY ERASE MARKER IN MY EYE JUST SO I CAN GET OUT OF HERE!

Ugh.

One thing that I noticed was running rampant today was people copying each other's "bullshit jargon" speech patterns. For instance, one guy in the first meeting kept referring to different product cycles as "iterations" and kept using iterate as a verb substituting the verb "work". Like, "we'll decide on that as we iterate through." I've never heard anyone at this company use the word iterate in that way before and it was clear that the guy was doing it to try to sound cool (yeah... we're all geeks at this company...) but before long, three other people in the meeting were doing it. DEATH TO YOU ALL!

In the second meeting, one guy pronounced the word "status" the way the British do. State-us, with a long "a". Not very common but god damn if everyone else didn't pick it up and start doing it immediately... even the guy with the southern accent. And then, when I said the word the way I always do, they all kinda choked on it for a second, and in their responses to me, they made sure to incorporate it with this newly accepted pronunciation, as if to scold me for not getting with the times. Fuck you guys. I'm sticking with the tried and true, patriotic American pronunciation. Wankers.

I think I'm gonna come up with some really stupid term for something and try to get everyone to start using it. For instance, whenever I refer to doing a build, I'm gonna call it "twisting the bits". So today, the conversation might be:

"Hey Steve, have you done that build yet?"
"I'm twisting the bits right now, give it about five more minutes."

but tomorrow, it'll be:

"Hey Steve, have you twisted the bits yet?"
"Twisting as we speak, compadre. And may I take this opportunity to compliment your fine word choice?"
"Solid!"

Baaaaaaaaaa!, say the sheep.

God damn I'm hungry.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Mar. 11th, 2003 05:44 am (UTC)
...now...if you really want to drive them crazy, you could start tawking like me...and say...i'm leaving the awffice now to get a hot dawg and a cawffee for lunch...'youse wanna go wth me? and when they ask where your accent is from, you simply say "what accent?" horale pues...as my homies in arizona used to say...
kallista_gold
Mar. 11th, 2003 02:00 pm (UTC)
Try using "bitch cakes" sometime, when talking about someone being over the top. Like "he went totally bitch cakes when he didn't get his raise". See what happens then.

*"Bitch cakes" courtesy of News Radio
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )