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Hail to the KING

I am the king of Oreo enhancement. What? Not familiar with that term? Not surprising. I invented it. That's how fucking good I am at it.

Tonight, I was eating some Oreos. Double stuff, because I like the stuff. So I got the idea that if I twist two Oreos apart and eat the chocolate wafers from each that didn't retain the stuff, then I can put the remaining ones together, with the stuff from each, and create the QUADRUPLE STUFF. Oh yeah. That's chocolate wafer, four layers worth of stuff, and then another wafer. Sort of like the Dagwood sandwich of cookies.

So... I'm enjoying my quadruple stuffs, and I notice that I have this natural instinct to try to mush the stuffs from the two different cookies together to sort of get them to blend. I'm pushing these two together when one of the wafers breaks. So I carefully peel it off and remove it. This leaves me with a wafer and four layers worth of stuff, and no top. So I pull one wafer off another double stuff and stick the remainder on top. SIX STUFFS WORTH MUTHAFUCKA!! I trembled with glee. But... I knew this could go further. It had the makings of something great. I twisted the top wafer and mashed it until it broke, and I could remove it again. I then pulled a wafer off another double stuff, and stuck the remainder on top of The Creation. It was at that point that I acheived pure cookie nirvana. Muthafuckin' OCTUPLE STUFF, BITCH!!! Yeah!!! YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!! WHO'S THE MAN?? WHO'S THE MAN???

I had every intention of taking a picture to put on my website, but I couldn't resist the urge to eat this amazing creation. It's probably better this way though. Because frankly, if you were to gaze upon this amazing thing, you would probably just die.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Apr. 16th, 2002 09:43 am (UTC)
Original or chocolate stuff?
(Anonymous)
Apr. 16th, 2002 12:22 pm (UTC)
i can almost hear your arteries start to clog...for that creation, though, i hope you got milk!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 17th, 2002 11:13 am (UTC)
Elvis Costello? You do your old Aunt proud...even if you did make her sick....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
vespa59
Apr. 17th, 2002 11:43 pm (UTC)
He's on tour now... Not sure when he's down there but I got my tix for May 19 up here.
(Anonymous)
Apr. 19th, 2002 07:21 am (UTC)
luci commentary
i am utterly jelous of the Elvis Costello tickets! I saw him 8 years ago and he's coming nowhere near Texas..boohooo hooo He's so good.. and a total hottie in my book!
(Anonymous)
May. 7th, 2002 11:12 am (UTC)
oreo, mutha fucka!
oh steve, steve, steve, steve. i neeeeed to see this thing. will you make another one for me? i won't eat because the last time i checked the "stuff" in oreos was beef fat just like the "stuff" in twinkies. but i still wanna see it. let's see...eiffel tower? check. statue of liberty? check. super decker oreo?

calamity
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )