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The cat came back...

There are some aspects of the new house that are definitely creepy: creaky floors, spider webs, spooky attic, etc... Not the least creepy of these things is a creature known as Creepy Cat. It's this white cat that lives somewhere in the neighborhood and just likes to fucking STARE at me like he's trying to think of a way to kill me. I don't know what the hell I did to this thing, but he's definitely working on me. I imagine he stays up all night just thinking about me and my different vulnerabilities and plotting when and where he will erase me from his weird little kitty existence.

I first noticed him a few days after we got the keys. I had brought a load of boxes over in my truck and was bringing them into the basement. It was a very quiet and dark night. There was a strong breeze blowing. The air had that sort of feeling like something was amiss. I felt creeped out. Then, I looked down the driveway and there he was... just sitting in the middle of the frikkin' street at the end of the driveway, staring at me. Staring THROUGH me, as hard as he could. I could feel him trying to burn a hole in my very soul with his evil little kitty eyes. Fucker. I tried to ignore him, just bringing my boxes in the house, but he just sat there... staring... STARING... So I stopped and stared back at him, thinking I could outstare the little bastard. I was wrong. We must have stared at each other for like 10 minutes before I just laughed him off. "Ok buddy... You win this one..." After that, as if totally satisfied with himself, he just sauntered off.

A week or so later, I'm outside doing something (probably more boxes) and I see him again. This time he's in the driveway.... staring. Just staring. You probably could have shot him and he'd continue staring at me like that. Fucking weird cat. I decided to try to make friends with him... so I started walking towards him going "Hi kitty!" in the same voice that Susie uses when she talks to the kitties. Two steps and he just turns and walks away. Ok then. So I figure he's scared of me and probably won't be back.

The next day, as Susie and I are getting in the car, I tell her about the cat and how weird he is. As we start backing down the driveway, I look and sure enough, there he is. Middle of the driveway. Doing what? STARING AT ME. Just staring away. So I keep backing... "He'll move... he's a scaredy cat..." He doesn't move. He just keeps staring. I get to the point where I can't see him anymore, but I know he's still there. Susie gets out and he's still just sitting there staring. So she tells him to move and starts walking towards him and he runs away.

A couple nights after that, Susie makes dinner and we have our first dinner at an actual table. It's very nice and pleasant. As I'm finishing my dinner, I get this sort of strange feeling again. I look out the window and yep... there he is... kind of wandering around the neighbors yard. As he's walking by, he looks up and notices me in the window, sits down, and starts fucking STARING AT ME AGAIN. For Christ's sake. What the fuck??

Today we turned in the walkthrough report for the house to the property management people, and I was half-tempted to list "creepy ass cat that won't stop staring at me" on it.

Someone please come remove this fucking devil-spawn.

Comments

kent
Aug. 22nd, 2003 08:54 pm (UTC)
I hate to tell you this, but you've had something in your teeth for the last few weeks.