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At work, we have Mike and Ikes. Boxes of them. On the back of each box, there's a little guide to what colors are what flavors. Red is cherry, yellow is lemon, green is lime, and orange is orange.

What the hell?

Do the fine graphic designers at JustBorn Inc. (the makers of Peeps, by the way) think that there is a human left in this country who doesn't understand the well-established tried and true system of color to candy flavor correlation? I mean, it's not like these are complicated flavors. I'm not looking at a box of Jelly Bellys, where it's normal to find a beige colored piece with purple speckles on it. These are the most basic of colors/flavors. They're not even at the degree of complicity of say, watermelon, or the ever mysterious blue bubblegum flavor. Man... to think of all the more productive uses for that space.

Here's something else that I was thinking about today:
When a dog steps on dog crap, is that extra gross for them? I mean, is it worse than if they step on some cat crap or even human crap? I can't imagine the scenario where a dog might be in danger of stepping in human crap, but stay with me here.

Here's why it troubles me: Say you step in some dog crap. Your reaction is like, "Awww man! I stepped in some friggin' dog crap! Gross!!" But if you were to step in human crap... dude. DUDE. That would be like 50 times more gross. It'd be like vomit inducing gross. It'd be so gross that you probably wouldn't tell anyone, and you'd tell anyone who saw it to never tell anyone else. And it'd be SO gross that the people you told not to tell anyone actually WOULDN'T tell anyone, because the gravity and grossness of the situation would actually outweigh any entertainment value of telling your girlfriend that you stepped in people crap today.

Furthermore, I'd say that the further distanced the species is from you, the less disgusting it is to step in its crap. Look at cow crap. You tell me about one time you stepped in cow crap and you didn't start laughing about it like 12 seconds later. And dude, if you stepped in Emu crap, that'd just be downright hilarious.

Ok... so now... is it safe to assume that stepping in the crap of your own species is worse than stepping in that of another species? If that's the case, then dogs have it rough man, because their brothers' crap is EVERYWHERE and they're bound to step in it. Next time Rudy steps in some dog crap, I'm gonna give him a treat or something, because man, that's gotta be a rough day for him.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 9th, 2004 05:52 pm (UTC)
I don't think dogs care at all, but...
people crap!


that just made me laugh.
Feb. 9th, 2004 09:18 pm (UTC)
i once stepped in human crap and it may have been the saddest day of my life.
Feb. 10th, 2004 07:09 am (UTC)
Now if they'd have been wearin their sign....
On the tube of Preparation H there is the warning "not to be taken internally"

On those little packets of silica gel you get when you buy stuff
in boxes also has a disclaimer 'do not eat'.

On hair dryers-'do not use while sleeping'.

You have to wonder what situations arose that made it necessary
for these companies to HAVE to post these warnings.

My guess is stupid humans trying to sue.

Feb. 10th, 2004 08:49 am (UTC)
a discussion last friday with a 9-year-old centered around the fact that the red candies were, strangely, sour apple; the white, citrus. there was no problem with the white being citrus, it was just that he couldn't believe the red wasn't cherry.
Feb. 10th, 2004 10:07 am (UTC)
Dude, this one time, I stepped in some Ibex crap.... oh ... I'm crying here... that was some funny-ass shit...
Feb. 10th, 2004 12:35 pm (UTC)
i just laughed my ass of at that crap... arent you coming to nyc soon?
Feb. 10th, 2004 01:39 pm (UTC)
Dude! I was just there!

I never heard from you in response to my "I need my NY peeps to send their digits" posts...

Feb. 10th, 2004 01:53 pm (UTC)
shit man.. i didnt see them.. i was out of town for a week..

did you have fun? fuck
Feb. 11th, 2004 01:02 pm (UTC)
ah... bugger! yeah... we had a good time. i'm sure we'll be back in the near future.
Feb. 10th, 2004 02:17 pm (UTC)
sub-human evil crap...
at the last state of the union address, there was loads of aforementioned sub-human, evil, rich, white, conservative, right-wing, flag waving, hate-monging, closet queen (oh come on, have you seen the way ashcroft looks at rumsfeld), homophobic crap spewing out all over the place!!! i even heard that the crap originated at 1600 pensylvania avenue..imagine that!!! the nation not only stepped in it, some of them even bought it!!!! i mean good, hard tax payers' dollars (and all they could stal from the migrant workers) paying for crap? jeez...

ah, but rumor has it the tidy bowl man is on his way to once and forever wipe out that crap...

i bid you peace...
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )