January 25th, 2005

Ladies' man

Steve's final thoughts (for today)....

1. There is a HUGE gap in difficulty between the "beginner" and "light" difficulty levels on whatever the heck version of DDR it is that I'm playing. On "beginner", I'm able usually able to get through a song or two without any mistakes. On "light", I can get through some songs, but for some I'm like on all fours bouncing up and down on all the pads simultaneously like some kind of aroused ape and still not getting anywhere. I don't even wanna know what "standard" is gonna be like.

2. Holy shit. Tomorrow night's Amazing Race: No Jonathan and Victoria for one thing. For another, Adam and Rebecca (who pretty much suck) might up and quit the race. And for yet another, it appears that there's some sort of race where they're riding in Bajaj three-wheelers similar to the one in my carport. Sweet! I wish I could call them up and have them grab a few parts off for me.

3. Susie's not feeling good, so I'm all alone in the living room with Rudy, watching crap on TV that we don't normally watch. I decided to check out Fear Factor, which I haven't watched much of since their first season. Holy living fuck they have to eat some nasty things on there now! Tonight's dish: blended maggots served in a bowl next to a shaker of live flies. Suck the blended maggots in and blow spit them through a big straw in to the shaker until you fill it up and drown the flies. Shake well, and drink down the whole insanely disgusting mixture. I seriously almost puked watching it.

The thing that sucks about going on fear factor is that you have to do the nasty eating stunt before doing the cool stunt. The one after the maggots was one where you get to jump a car off a one-sided flipper ramp, over a train, and on to a landing pad of boxes. Dude... that would fucking rule! I would totally go on fear factor and do one of those awesome stunts, except I'd get eliminated before it, because I ain't gonna eat no penis, testicles, uterus, bugs, rodents, reptiles, buttholes, or excrement. No way, no how. I wish I could go on and just go, "look, Joe Rogan... I don't need $50k. I just wanna hang off a helicopter while you fly it over an active volcano." Dude totally wouldn't let me.

4. My dog is cute.

5. The Pixies are on Letterman... now.