December 6th, 2005


The end of Agent Lebowski

Yes, I was finally assassinated last night. After three weeks of paranoia, odd hours, carefully planned arrivals and departures, and other unpredictable behavior, it was my own carelessness that did me in.

As I suited up for my ride to work yesterday, I realized that I didn't know where the garage door opener was. The opener had been key in my survival, as I'd practiced and gotten quite good at opening the door just enough to slide in on my scooter, and getting it immediately closed behind me. This day I would have to figure out something new, as I was running late and didn't have time to look for the opener.

I checked around the front of the house and quickly let myself out, using the keypad to close the garage door behind me. As usual, no sign of my attackers, and I made it to work without incident.

Cut to the end of the day. I spent some time at the home of my own target, with zero indication that he was home or coming home any time soon. After arousing the suspicions of pretty much the entire Castro, I decided to head home.

At about two blocks from the house, I called Susie to ask her to open the garage door for me. As I approached the house, I noticed someone right out front. I tensed up and prepared for flight, but relaxed when I noticed that the person was our landlord. For some reason, he was spreading mulch at 9pm. At this point, Susie had heard the scooter and the garage door was opening, so I rolled in and she immediately closed the door behind me. I was totally safe.

Not wanting to be rude to the landlord or confuse him as to why I just arrived home like it was an emergency, I decided to go out and say a quick hello. I figured that nobody would be hanging around being all creepy with him out there, and I hadn't noticed anyone when I came home, so it was probably safe. I was mistaken.

I exited the garage through the side door in to the tunnel entrance. I stood behind the gate and greeted Adrian and remarked on his late night gardening style. About six words made it out of my mouth before I felt the rain down on me through the gate. I heard a voice over the hedge exclaim "GOTCHA!" and I knew it was over.

Agent White Noise and his partner came around and greeted me, further confusing the landlord. He had been hiding in the neighbor's driveway, scared to death that the landlord would notice him there and whack him with his shovel. His partner let me know that they were just about to leave, as they'd figured I was already inside, when they saw my scooter come down the street. When they saw me make it quickly inside, they thought they were sunk and were even closer to giving up, until luck shined down on them and I walked right outside and right in to their clutches. I surrendered my Street Wars identification card... another trophy for Team America's collection.

After the kill, Agent White Noise and his partner took me to a local pub and bought me a drink and we talked about the game a little. Despite all the trash talk and borderline antisocial behavior their team had displayed, these two were pretty cool cats, worthy of displaying my stuffed head above their mantle.

Sudden Death starts tonight at 7pm. I offered my assistance protecting the Supreme Commander, which he accepted, so I will still be involved in the game until I leave on Thursday morning. By my calculations, the only ones left at this point are all of Team America (eleven people) and the guy who was my target. I can't wait to see how it plays out.

I'll be getting back from Seattle on Sunday night just in time to make the wrap-up party, which is nice. I'm looking forward to having a few drinks with the organizers.