Earlier today, Lisa and I were talking about the fact that Disneyland has a jail. Yes, Keri... there is jail at Disneyland. Anyway, that reminded me of the time my friend Moises and I got kicked out of the Arizona State Fair.
First off, you must understand that the AZ State Fair is a huge deal. It's the size of an amusement park and it's there for like a month every year. There are awesome rides and lots of food on sticks and plenty of awesome gang fights. In other words, it's got everything those "real" amusement parks have, including a gondola, and this is where our story takes place.
Moises and I had skipped school, as was tradition on the first Wednesday of the fair (Wednesday being the day where you could ride until you threw up for $7). We'd worn ourselves out and stuffed ourselves to the rafters and had decided to call it a day. We decided to ride the gondola to the other end of the lot, as it was located closest to the bus stop we wanted. We waited in line a bit, and got on.
The gondola is slow, and we were bored, so we did what anyone else would do - we swung our little car as hard as we could, in an attempt to cause the cars directly in front and behind us to also swing, scaring the crap out of their riders. It started to work, and we were happy, until we noticed that two Fair Cops were now pacing our car and would probably want to have a talk with us at the end of the ride. A plan was quickly hatched.
As we "landed" and disembarked, the cops approached us and said they wanted to have a word. We acted like we were all sorry and scared, and then bolted on to the car directly in front of ours, which was now being loaded with a dude and his girlfriend. We timed it so perfectly... I wish you could have seen it. We were now on our way to the other end of the fair, with some new friends who thought the whole thing was kind of hysterical.
The cops didn't think it was hysterical at all. They actually commandeered the car behind ours, kicking out the people who'd just gotten in it, and taking it for themselves. I shit you not, people. Moises and I were now involved in a low-speed gondola chase. I have no idea why they did this, because they could just as easily have run to the other end and waited for us. Now they were going to be a second or two behind us when we landed, which would be plenty of time to escape. Knowing this, we mocked them, and the whole situation, which turned out to be kind of a bad idea. We shook our fists at them, and Moises tried to engage them in a finger shoot out (although I was a little worried that this would somehow actually get us shot). As we approached the landing spot, we prepared ourselves to jump out (the couple who we were riding with agreed to let us out first) and run, when we noticed there were several more cops waiting there for us.
We landed, and the attendant got in to our car to make sure we didn't get back in. They then let the cops off as the other cops apprehended us, and then shut the gondola off until we were escorted away from it. The cops were pretty pissed off at us. They took us to a little trailer where Polaroids were taken and then we were told to leave and NEVER COME BACK TO THE FAIR AGAIN. Ever. Not even next year or the year after.
We went back the next night because Billy Idol was playing.
Originally posted on pop.vox.com