December 3rd, 2007


On Vox: Accept it, or burn in hell

This is one of the more disturbing things I've seen (via a rather sweet Vox neighbor who I won't name). Apparently these dudes felt strongly enough about their need to have their religion unilaterally accepted in this country that they wrote a little song about it. Let's examine:

Point one: It's "Christmas", dammit... not "Happy Holidays". The band seems to be offended by people wishing them Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, because they are Christian and apparently so is everyone else who lives here. You should know they're Christian and wish them the appropriate greeting, instead of one that would be suitable for everyone you meet. On the other hand, it doesn't matter what religion you happen to be, as they are going to wish you Merry Christmas. You'll take a Merry Christmas, and you'll fucking like it.

Point two: "It's about the birth of Christ." Really? It's really about that? REALLY? Santa, the reindeer, the decorations, the bloody fights over Elmo dolls, the intense rage focused at airline gate agents, the depression, the evil things spoken by the most fork-tongued friends and relatives... that's all about the birth of Christ? REALLY? No. It's not. It may have been at one time, but that's gone. Now, it's about moving merchandise. It's about one last fiscal push for WalMart and Best Buy before they report their earnings. It's about proving your love with an item, because you're unable to prove it with your actions. It's about patting yourself on the back because you did something nice for someone less fortunate for one out of 365 days of the year. It's about putting on a slutty Santa's helper outfit and getting busy on top of all the coats on the guest room bed while everyone's downstairs getting sloshed on eggnog. Wait... it's not always about that. What it is about is slowly driving me insane with a hundred different versions of the same dozen or so fucking songs... each one more obnoxious than the last.

Point three: the heritage of this country is Christian, so therefore "Merry Christmas" is the appropriate greeting. Interesting point. By this logic, I'd argue that the truly appropriate greeting would be, "Merry Christmas, now get out in the field and pick that cotton, slave, whilst I have my way with your daughter." This is scary fucking thinking. It's not at all far from the argument that banning gay marriage isn't discriminatory, since everyone has the right to get married (to someone of the opposite sex).

Why can't Christians just leave people the fuck alone already? I would never want to infringe on their celebration of their holidays as they see fit, but for Christ's sake (almost literally), can't they just leave the rest of us out of it? They already get the fucking day off. Consider that a solid.

Disclaimer: I do, for reasons I won't go in to here, actually celebrate (not sure if that's the word for it, actually... more like "acknowledge and participate in") Christmas... but you will not be getting a Merry Christmas from me. In fact, nobody's getting a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays or Bitchin' Kwanzaa greeting from me at all. I'm going straight to Happy New Year. Take that, Chinese people!

Originally posted on