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It's a stretch...

I have over a week to get my current target, but I really don't want it to take that long. I'd like to take him down and move on. I'm sick of his stupid house. I did some internet sleuthing on him today. I was able to figure out his wife's name, his daughter's name, find pictures of them, and find web presences of both of his brothers. I found out that one of his brothers is a product manager at Microsoft and even what group he's in.

I had someone at Microsoft find him in the directory and get me his email address. I made myself a fake Yahoo account and emailed him the following:

Hello Michael. I hope you're the person I'm looking for. If you have a brother in San Francisco named Brian, then you are.

You probably know that your brother is involved in a game called Streetwars (http://streetwars.net). He became my assignment a few days ago when I assassinated the leader of a team assigned to him.

I've tried, unsuccessfully to find and moisten your beloved brother. I have friends at his work who haven't seen him. I think he may be hiding under his bed. I'm beginning to run out of ideas.

This is where you come in. If you're like most brothers, you revel in the thought of selling out your sibling and watching him suffer. You take pleasure in participating in your brother's demise.

If you're not that kind of brother, then I'm barking up the wrong tree. You can stop reading and call Brian up and tell him he's pretty good at this, so far.

However, if you'd like to help, then what I need is information. All I know about Brian is where he lives and where he works. From his website I gather that his wife is Yen and his daughter is Audrey. They're both adorable and I'd hate to spook them by ringing his doorbell at odd hours, but we'll have to see where desperation takes me. The only other thing I know about Brian is that he is also under obligation to get out and hunt his target. What I'm looking for is other stuff that I might be able to catch him at. Does he go to concerts? Does he go to a particular church every Sunday? Is there a particular burrito joint he eats at on Fridays?

Help me out, Mike, and I'll reward however I can. I can see you're a fellow Pixies fan and I'd be willing to kick you a copies of my CDs of a few shows from the recent Coachella warm-up tour, or perhaps something from the McSweeney's owned pirate supply store here in San Francisco (yes, I've had to do a little research on you as well). I do make it up to Seattle quite often for my job and to visit friends, so I'd be more than happy to buy you a few beers for your trouble as well.

Thanks for your time, Mike. Let me know if you want to see your brother go down in a watery blast of goodness. I'd be happy to photograph it for your family archives.


It may or may not work... who knows? It's one more arrow in my really light quiver. It'd be a pretty cool way to smoke the guy too.

"Dude. Your brother sold you out."

Wish me luck!



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 19th, 2005 01:42 am (UTC)
Yay!!! That sounds like it was great fun!!! I cant wait to find out if he's in or out... my brother would have totally ratted me out...
Nov. 19th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC)
Good luck! I am totally addicted to your posts on this. I've been reading the Streetwars.net posts too.
Nov. 19th, 2005 01:57 am (UTC)
It's highly addictive. I get a kick out of the kill stories. I'm an idiot, because when I sent in my kill story, I was so excited to get it in, that I didn't elaborate like I did here in my LJ.

I don't know if you've been following, but whoever SA is (the one with the highest number of kills), she's PSYCHO. Fuck I hope she doesn't get assigned to me. She's broken in to TWO HOMES.

Nov. 19th, 2005 02:05 am (UTC)
I have been following comments too, and yes I saw that SA has been killing tons. Is it LEGAL in the game for her to be breaking into homes?!?!? Seriously, what is she DOING? More details, please, if you can!
Nov. 19th, 2005 02:08 am (UTC)
You know as much as I do from the blog posts and comments. The rules aren't really clear on this. It basically just says "don't do anything creepy". Technically, I guess she didn't break in to any of the homes. They were open and she just took advantage of that, waiting inside for them to come home (I like that she fed the one guy's cat before nailing him). That said, if anyone enters my house without being invited, this stops being a watergun game and starts being a scenario where I beat the shit out of someone with a stick.
Nov. 19th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
Yeah, I would be pissed if someone came into my home.

You'll get a chance to post a bitchin kill story with your next target, I just know it!

How are you feeling? You sleeping and eating alright and everything? Is it getting easier (less stressful) or harder (more nervewracking)?
Nov. 19th, 2005 02:23 am (UTC)
I'm feeling ok. Honestly, I've been spending way too much time on this, but that's kind of how I approach things naturally. I forced myself to do a minimal amount of stalking last night and then stay home (instead of going out to one of a number of fun activities) and go to bed at a reasonable hour.

That turned in to going to bed a little late and then getting up early for more stalking.

I'm a little tired, but other than that no problem.

As far as the stress level, I'm actually feeling a little better than at first. I think I've got a pretty good "depart home" system in place that only leaves me vulnerable for a few seconds. I've got a good system for leaving work too.

Switching back and forth between two different bikes is good and hopefully confusing... although it's a choice every morning - pick the motorcycle because it's less noticeable, or the scooter because it's more agile. I'm bummed that my black hoodie's zipper broke, so the only jacket I have for travelling around has a gigantic green M with wings on the back. Not exactly subtle. I will seek to remedy that this weekend, I think.

I feel like I need to get this kill under my belt soon. Next week is Thanksgiving and who knows what this chump is doing for the holiday?
Nov. 19th, 2005 02:25 am (UTC)
Well, thanks for sharing all these answers with me. I've been having a blast reading all this. Good luck.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )