I don't know what the hell I have, but I feel like triple refried ass. Covered in ass sauce. I'm not sniffly or sneezy, but I have all the rest of the flu - the awesome parts like my entire body aches and my stomache feels like maybe I swallowed one of those flying turtles from Super Mario Brothers, and it wasn't quite cooked. I'm FREEZING, even though it's a normal temperature in here, and I keep having little vomit burps.
I cannot be sick. I have a lot of stuff at the jobby job to take care of before I'm outta there.
Someone please bring me some water and some pretzels. Thanks.