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Why I'm not allowed outside anymore....

So... today we were talking about the turducken at work. The turducken is this thing we're getting for thanksgiving. It is a boneless turkey, stuffed with a boneless duck, which is stuffed with a boneless chicken, which is stuffed with a cajun sausage stuffing. This sounds sort of disturbing, but it's actually really fucking amazingly good. It almost killed me last year, but this year I am STRONGER.

Anyway... Somone joked that if you could put the whole thing inside a boneless pig, and then put that inside a boneless cow, you'd be in business with a capital b. Then, of course, Todd has to take it to far and say that you should put the whole thing inside a whale.

Now, first, I'm not interested in eating a whale. All those other animals, yeah... but not a whale. Sheesh! So I tell him that even if anyone did want to eat that, it would take forever to cook. His response: "Not if you deep fry it, dude".

How the fuck are you gonna deep fry a fucking WHALE?? You'd have to drain one of the pools at Sea World and fill it with Crisco, and then heat the shit up to like 400 degrees! And you know as soon as you put the whale in there, he's gonna start doing tricks, flop out of the water and splash flaming hot oil on the first 8 rows of spectators, burning the living fuck out of them. And if you think Sea World is gonna let you come in and burn up all their paying customers just so you can get your thanksgiving turduckenpigcowhale cooked, then you're sadly mistaken my friend.

God damn. Am I the ONLY one that thinks these things through?


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 2nd, 2002 09:39 am (UTC)
Jumping the food chain
Ok, so the whale is a bit much... but really isn't putting it inside the whale jumping pretty high up on the food chain. I mean, there are other animals that are larger than a cow that one could use. For instance, a hippo (sorry CK), or an elephant. Not that I'd ever want to eat any of those animals, or suggest that eating them was ok, we're just talking hypetheticals here. Also, why oh why is there no mention of the oft maligned, and overlooked Tofurkey? That fabled gelatinous animal has graced many a PC Thanksgiving
Oct. 4th, 2002 08:43 am (UTC)
you made coffee come out my NOSE
Dude that was freaking great! I laughed until I choked, died, defib'd/recessitated myself and laughed some more.

And you know as soon as you put the whale in there, he's gonna start doing tricks

oh man.. my belly hurts with it.

that was beautiful

thank you :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )