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Sniper

Every five minutes, Wolf Blitzer stops saying stupid shit, and the screen changes to all red, with the word SNIPER really big on it, and music goes 'DA. DA. DA. DADADA. DADADA. DA DA DA. DADADA. DADADA.' Currently, the crack team of investigative reporters is exploring the significance of the murders in Alabama and some of the murders in Virginia occurring in places with the same name (Montgomery). OH MY GOD. WHAT CAN IT ALL MEAN???

Something else that kind of cracks me up: I like how the reporters from various news agencies are going out of their way to make you aware that they had a particular story first. So far I've heard stuff like:

"More developments on this story about the removal of a tree stump, which KOMO-4 news broke first, later tonight"

and

"We'll be back with more on these exciting developments, which all you other muthafuckas can only dream that you came up with before us, but you know that's all bullshit because we are the mack daddy newsin'est muthafuckas around and ain't nobody breakin' the mad shit before us, after this quick commercial break."

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Oct. 24th, 2002 07:32 pm (UTC)
...and the latest is...the car was registered in..you guessed it NEW JERSEY...because this waste of human tissue lives where...that's right boys and girls..in NEW JERSEY...why us, i ask...va fangool!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )