1. Most things are easy to do, especially if you've been doing them since you was two.
2. As disturbing as it sounds to let your backbone slip, it's not at all dangerous.
3. Many people don't make no sense.
4. If mama's sleeping, there's a good chance that papa ain't around and thus, you can get away with stuff.
5. Often times, a witness is needed.
6. "HAAAAUUUUGGHGHHHHHH!!!!" is a perfectly acceptable way to start a song, end a song, or fill in lyrics.
7. Most important events take place on the floor.
8. Places with more soul: Detroit; Harlem; New Orleans; Chicago; the inner city. Places with less soul: Dubuque, Iowa; Boise, Idaho; Cleveland, Ohio; Augusta, Maine; the financial district.
9. Names of guys with soul: Bobby, Joe, Otis, Eddie. Names of guys with no soul: Todd, Chad, Troy, Brett
10. The preferred animal of soul music is the monkey.
11. If you're not sure what to do with it, you should shake it.