It's not because of Obama's goofy choice for a VP... despite the fact that, as the first black President, he's almost certain to be assassinated. It's not because of his backpedaling on issues that are important. It's not even because he didn't take a few minutes in Hawaii to come hang out with me and the rest of the wedding party. Dude's busy. I get that.
No, the reason is email, and Barack's and the Party's annoying abuse of my information. Barack's got one email address for me (I remember giving it to him a while back), and the Democrats have another one that goes to the same email box, which I don't remember giving them, but I guess it's plausible that they got it through some non-shady means. Anyway, I'd say it's about two times a day on average that Barack sends email to the address that he has, and nine times out of ten, the Democratic Party sends the same exact mail to the address they have. Beyond that, I get another handful of emails every week from Howard Dean, Michelle Obama, and Nancy Pelosi at the Party's email address.
THIS IS TOO MUCH FUCKING MAIL from a political campaign. In case the fact that I have email didn't tip you off, let me let you in on a secret about me: I have a fucking computer, and it's on the fucking internet. I can read the news, your website, and blogs. I don't need an email alert to tell me how proud you are that your wife was so eloquent on stage.
That's the other thing... they're all really inane throwaway mails. It's stuff like "Heeeeey, we're gonna announce a VP in a few days. Can we have your phone number and some money?" or "Heeeeey, did you hear that shit that McCain was talkin? LOL! Can we have some money?"
No, dude. I gave you a TON of money already.
Now here's the kicker: I went to go unsubscribe from the Democratic Party's email list, and when I put in my email address and my reason for unsubscribing, I got this:
To ensure the security of your account, we've sent you an email at the address you provided us. This email contains a 4-digit code that you will need to enter below. If you do not see the inbox within a couple of minutes, check your junk or bulk mail folder as your ISP may have incorrectly marked this message as spam.
That was like 15 minutes ago and guess what... Yeah... no email with a confirmation code.
WHY THE FUCK do I need a confirmation code to unsubscribe from an email list? Is that even legal? It's not like the unsubscribe process required my credit card number or something. Just fucking unsubscribe me! Bastards.
I'm thinking about making my own list of every Democrat's email address I can find, and during the day, I'm going to send it updates on how I'm doing at work. Potential subject lines:
- Barack, I wrote some pretty sweet code today
- Just because I'm on Vox doesn't mean I'm not working
- Nancy, let me tell you about the lunch I just had
- Give me your phone number and I'll text you next time I log a bug!
* I'm not really voting for McCain. Back off!
Originally posted on pop.vox.com