Right you are, Ken (vespa59) wrote,
Right you are, Ken

The Darkest Day

Well... It's over. The Amazing Race ended in Seattle of all places with a two hour finale that started in Vietnam.

First, let me say this. I try not to use the word "cunt". I think it's pretty much the most derogatory thing you can call someone. I realize it's a pretty commonly used word in the UK, but I think it holds a lot more weight here in the US.

That said, Flo is a Super-Sized, double-cheese CUNT burger with extra sauce and a side of uber-bitch. I have no idea how her partner managed to not kill her. I would have fucking abandoned her in a river. I hope that something seriously bad happens to her for how fucking evil she is. Seriously, that girl has some social issues. She needs to be scrapped.

Unfortunately, Flo and Zach won the race, just a few minutes ahead of Teri and Ian. And I'm gonna tell you why. It wasn't because of skill or because they were younger and faster, or anything like that. It was fucking Seattle traffic. They had to take cabs from Lincoln Park in West Seattle to Gasworks Park on Lake Union. There is no way in hell you can predict what any lane or any car on the road is gonna do in that traffic. You get in a cab and you roll the dice. Total luck, and nothing else. It's unfortunate that the people who had the best attitude (as a team) and made the smartest moves and did the best job and not screwing anyone else, even when they were all talking shit about them, lost the race because the last leg of it was based pretty much on luck.

It's not just that they had to get from Lincoln Park to Gasworks. They actually had to get from the airport to Kerry Park (Queen Anne), then walk to Seattle Center, relying on help from strangers (IDIOTS), then cab to Lincoln Park, and THEN Gasworks. That's three cab rides. That could take you five hours in this town. Damn!

It was kinda cool watching them all run all over Seattle though. At one point, they're in lower Queen Anne about three blocks from my office, running by one of my favorite record stores and the Thai food place we go for lunch every once in a while. I could almost always tell what streets they were one, whether they were going the right way, etc... I was yelling at the TV, "NO! NO! GO DOWN TO MERCER!!". Hehe. If only they had Eris the white Vespa, they would have aced that shit.

So back to Flo. There were some really bright shining moments when I seriously thought she was going to quit. She did quit. She said probably four times that she was out. I'm cheering on the couch going "YEAH BITCH! YOU CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE IT! The 'OLD' people can handle it, but you can't, CUNT!"

But somehow, Zach kept convincing her to keep going. And what did he get as a reward? More hours of her yelling at him, and then her most certainly hooking up with one of the guys from the gay twin model team that she had a crush on. Poor Zach.

Ian and Teri got lost a lot because Ian drives like my dad. Sorry dad. You're good at other stuff though.

The Oh! Brothers were really entertaining, but really just too goofy to get it together. Third place for you.

Well... that's really all I have left to say about the Amazing Race except that I should be in it. I would certainly kick some ass. Who wants to come with me?


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