2. Last night, while I was standing in the 15 items or less line at the grocery store, I was growing ever more homocidal as the guy with 23 fucking items whips out his checkbook and starts writing a check. Now, my problem wasn't the fact that he broke the rules. I'm all for challenging authority, especially when said authority is a grocery store (sorry Simon). The problem I have is that this is just such a blatant disregard for all the other people, who were within the limits of items. "Fuck all them. I gotta get my 23 items and I'm not waiting with the COMMON people. I'm too GOOD to have to wait with everyone else. I should have my OWN LANE, but since they won't give me one, I'm going to use the express lane, even though I'm not entitled to." Anyway, I started getting more irritated when he decided to balance his checkbook at the end of writing the check, BEFORE handing it to the cashier. It took all the patience I could muster to keep quiet. At the same time, I noticed that the three guys behind me in line were supermarket cops and they were patrolling for shoplifters. They were pretty obvious about it, so anyone that was going to get busted by them deserved it. They were discussing some chick in the frozen food aisle that was making a play. Meanwhile, 23 Items is arguing with the cashier over a rain check he had for a special price on dog food. I won't go into the details of it, but I will tell you that it used up about another five minutes and then caused the cashier to have to leave the register and go get the dude two more bags of dogfood from whatever aisle they come from. Still, I managed to not kill the guy. I tried to telekinetically destroy him, but my powers are not up to that level yet. I just stared at him hoping he'd die. He didn't. Finally I got my turn, paid for my stuff and was on my way out. As I got to the door, I had to step aside, because 23 Items was being escorted back into the stoor by the supermarket cops, presumably for shoplifting. Thank you, sweet poetic justice!
3. Today, Sherwin and I were walking to the gym and we started noticing a really heavy concentration of noisy crows directly above us. It was SUPER creepy. There was an older woman walking along just a bit behind us. As we got to one corner, the woman turned left and we kept going straight. The crows seemed to follow her, which was even creepier. Sherwin and I agreed that while it was sad that the woman was about to get her eyes pecked out, we were relieved that they decided to follow her instead of us. I hate crows. Creepy fuckers.
Last night I made a real live dinner in my very own kitchen! And it didn't kill us! I rule!