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Blatantly stolen from Top Five

The Top 14 Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big
(Part I)

14> Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

13> Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.

12> You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004
Halliburton-Savior S-Class.

11> It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro
into its orbit.

10> There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the
back seat.

9> It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

8> It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down
into an entire field, complete with goals.

7> You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's

6> Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

5> Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

4> When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have
the package of extra small condoms bagged and ready to go.

3> You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be
dismantled immediately.

2> Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down
to the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains
confident that Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your SUV Is Too Damn Big...

1> The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 26th, 2003 04:45 pm (UTC)
15) When you pull out of your driveway, stock traders begin to bid up Exxon shares

16) When your passengers begin to feel peckish, you direct them to the "dining car"

17) The Longshoreman's Union seeks to unionize family members who are unloading groceries from the back of your SUV

18) Goodyear seeks "naming rights" to the side of your vehicle
Mar. 26th, 2003 05:26 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! I order you to take the contributor test at http://www.topfive.com
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )