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Phone rings. I answer it:

Me: Hello?
Her: Hi.. is this Steve?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Hi Steve. My name is Something Forgettable and I'm a technical recruiter. I'm working with a VP of engineering and I'm networking with software industry professionals. Does that describe you?
Me: No.
Her: Really? What is it you do there?
Me: I'm the custodian.
Her: Get out... you're messing with me!
Me (sounding irritated, and somewhat depressed): No... I REALLY am the janitor.
Her: And they give you your own extension?
Me: Yeah... we all have our own extension.
Her: If you just clean up, why would they give you your own phone?
Me: So people can call me and tell me when there's things that need to be cleaned up.
Her: Ummm..... ok.....
Me: Sorry I can't help you... unless you're looking for a good custodian, but the benefits would have to be pretty good.
*click*

What? Janitors don't need benefits too?

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
beatnikside
May. 28th, 2003 07:45 pm (UTC)
You are a golden god.
vespa59
May. 28th, 2003 10:16 pm (UTC)
Right back at ya, my man.
riozonia
May. 28th, 2003 11:47 pm (UTC)
bad Steve! You probably forced that woman to take alot more valium than her normal daily dose..I know its hard to use your other worldy powers for good and not evil...
vespa59
May. 29th, 2003 11:12 am (UTC)
Oh trust me... this was good. These recruiters... they call into our phone system and they work their way through the directory calling every single person under this guise of "networking with software professionals". When they find someone in engineering, they then try to talk them into going to work for some other company, with all these huge promises. Then, when we say we're not interested, they keep laying on the hard sell. If we do manage to politely get them off the phone, they call us back about once a month to see if we've changed our minds yet.

One of my coworkers was listening to her voicemail messages on speaker once and she had one of the aforementioned callbacks. So, everyone around her, including our boss, heard this voice on the other end saying, "Hi... Just calling to see if you were ready to start getting into that new position with that we talked about. Give me a call back and I'll take care of everything for you..."

We don't like these people here. We're a really small company with a lot of good engineers, and we can't really afford to lose anyone.
(Anonymous)
May. 29th, 2003 02:00 pm (UTC)
what i usually say is "why don't you send me some information and i'll file it away and when i'm interested, i'll call you. in the meantime, please do not contact me or this company anytime in the future." when you tell them you're just gonna file it, it sort of let's them know (you hope) how unimportant this really is...i usually get the same calls from salespeople who have training materials...yeesh...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )